Stop feeling isolated in your relationship explains signs of isolation and what you can do if you feel isolated in your relationship.
Although being married is expected to protect you from isolation, sometimes the feeling of loneliness crops in. Often this may be due to a lack of communication or your partner’s inability to fill the void in your life as expected. Whatever the reason, research confirms that 30% of people dissatisfied with their family life feel isolated. This is when compared to 7% of people happy with their family relationship.
There is a difference between feeling isolated and being on your own. Sometimes you may decide to be on your own in order to create a healthy me-time away from your partner. This is good because it’s a form of self-care when you make out time for yourself. On the other hand, when you feel isolated, it means you disengage from others though you are with them physically. Thus isolation is an emotion frequently linked to depression, anxiety, heart disease, and early death.
5 Signs of Isolation
These are 5 red flags to watch out for in your relationship:
You feel completely shut out. The biggest sign of isolation is that you still feel completely shut out even when you’re with your partner.
Lonely even when you’re with them physically. For example, sitting together at the dinner table and having nothing to say to each other is a sign that you really feel alone. Similarly, you may be reluctant to share thoughts and feelings with your partner for fear of being ridiculed, dismissed, or judged.
Stop chatting about your day. A healthy relationship frequently involves a daily chat with your partner about the day’s event. However, in situations when you don’t feel like sharing the nuisances of daily life. Or if your partner is not in the mood to listen, then you are slowly moving towards isolating yourself.
Sex life has ceased. When you stop intimacy that helps you get and stay connected, that increases your feeling of isolation. If you don’t feel close to your partner enough to want sex, that erodes physical intimacy and pushes you into a corner of loneliness.
Avoid spending time with your partner. Constantly using social media, the kids, or work as excuses to avoid spending time with your partner, are ways to escape isolation in your relationship. Also, you may adopt unhealthy habits, like drinking too much alcohol or overeating, as coping mechanisms for loneliness when you’re around one another.
How To Stop Feeling Isolated In Your Relationship
Here are 6 things to do if you’re feeling isolated in your relationship and going through life alone.
Talk to your significant other
It’s important to let them know how you feel. The most important is to start the talk on a positive note, so your partner doesn’t feel ridiculed. You can say something like, “I would like to spend more time and share more things with you than what we’ve been doing lately.” From there, you can suggest ideas such as an at-home date night or even a weekend morning walk. The crux is to spend some time together on a regular basis without distraction so you can focus on each other.
Touch and play with one another
When you physically touch and play with your partner, whether kissing, hugging, or caressing, you release a hormone called oxytocin. This hormone promotes bonding and is one good reason you may feel close to your partner after sex. So intimacy helps stop you feeling isolated in your relationship.
If you’re disconnected from yourself, it can make loneliness worse. So try deep breathing, a walking meditation. Or stopping what you do now and again to take a few breaths and check in with yourself. These mindfulness activities help you get in touch with yourself which is crucial to your health.
Try a gratitude session together
Each night, sit down together for 15 minutes and each says one positive thing to the other. For instance, the time your partner brought you breakfast in bed or picked up the kids from school. The importance of this exercise is to find things that you appreciate about one another. This will help build connection and togetherness. At the end of the 15 minutes, discuss things that worry you about your partner and discuss ways to amend them.
Reexamine your anticipations
Perhaps your partner works from home and you anticipate more availability than they can realistically give. Or they may also have to deal with small children and can’t be physically and emotionally responsive to you at that moment. This is the time to reflect on your initial anticipations and suggests scheduling time together like lunch or coffee break, where you can reconnect.
See a couple’s counselor
If you’ve tried all the above steps to stop feeling isolated in your relationship, but you still feel isolated, visiting a therapist together may help. Sometimes, you need a pair of outside eyes to help you resolve why one or both of you may feel so isolated. In this case, your doctor may be able to suggest someone.