7 Shocking Realities About Marriage
6 inevitable truths about marriage reveal that married life most times turns out to be a mixture of good and bad. You may believe you married your partner because you are two peas in a pod. After all, you know each other so well and have been the best of buddies for so long. Therefore, spending the rest of your life together as husband and wife is expected. And a normal thing to do.
However, you soon discover a lot of new things you never knew before. Or you just did not bother to give them a second thought. In addition, the fact that you are now married is no guarantee things will continue smoothly like before. So you should not be shocked to know that those things you tolerated before may be irritating now and vice versa. 6 inevitable truths about marriage presented below may be familiar or new, but certainly worth reading.
Little Things Are Now Important
What baffled many couples about their marriage is that you had to face the little irritants you do not want to let go of. This fact is the direct opposite of what you hear in the media about not sweating the small stuff. In one study, couples reported that small irritations became big issues when left unresolved. These include throwing boxers around or always being late for a dinner appointment.
It is very important to talk about what is troubling you in a respectful manner and compromise when necessary. Do not let things go on for too long without discussing what is amiss.
Families Play A Big Role
Fine, having had very successful outings with your future- in-laws does not mean you know how to handle your relationship with them. It soon becomes obvious how hard it can be. One woman finds out that the most difficult part of her marriage has been how to deal with their family.
For instance, she said her in-laws want immediate closeness. They want to treat her like the daughter they never had. But she felt that would be a bit of a false relationship for her. On the other hand, her husband has a great relationship with her own family. He acts as the peacemaker at family-get-togethers. Also, his presence also makes everyone behave with decorum. Her parents love him and feel very comfortable with him. So couples should appreciate the role of each individual’s family in their marriage.
Twice Joy, Twice Trouble
This may seem obvious that twice the joy, so is trouble when you are married. For instance, all the emotional ups and downs, job-related successes and anxieties, celebrations, and conflicts give double portions of everything.
Nonetheless, it is this sharing of both joy and trouble that makes the relationship stronger. Surprisingly, twice everything may be stressful but can also be rewarding.
Similarly, some couples may be unaware of the stress of marriage which soon inevitably places their relationship on hold. In such a situation, make an effort to talk to each other and reconnect.
Compliment Each Other
One essential ingredient for long-term happiness is to compliment your spouse and celebrate his or her achievements. Look for opportunities to get excited about your partner’s successes because this really strengthens the relationship. Likewise, thank your partner for helping around the house. Alternatively, say simple things like: “If I have to do this again, I won’t change anything”.
Marriage Won’t Fix Your Problems
Do not be surprised to feel the same kind of frustration after you are married. Problems will not go away. For example, you may still be unhappy with your job and face the same stresses and lopsided emotions. Even with a happy relationship, you just have to continue working on the other parts of your life. The fact that you are in love, or have someone who loves you, will not make the problems go away.
Being dissatisfied with your marriage could be a result of depression or other problems in your life you are experiencing. And not the actual marriage itself. So if you are unhappy in your marriage, it makes sense to look at how the rest of your life is going. Equally, resist blaming the other person when you are feeling bad.
Resolve Problems Together
The last of the 6 inevitable truths about marriage is to work at resolving issues together. The fact that you have scaled through several problems, and somehow take on the next problem can surprise some couples. But getting through a particularly tough situation together can put things in perspective. When a big issue like a serious illness arises, couples often realise that their disagreements which looked important are really nothing. Hence, this new outlook can be the changing factor for a more positive, intentional, and happy relationship that focuses on what the couple truly appreciates.
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