How To Resolve Unequal Sexual Desire
When you desire, it means you yearn for, crave, or request. It’s also an appetite, passion, and lust. Both men and women have it and it’s normal to want to feel good. The perception is that men should be ‘always on high’ when it comes to sexual desire. However, this isn’t always the case. There have been reported episodes of low sexual desire among men. When it comes right down to it, men may not be so ‘hot’ in their desire for sex for some amazing reasons, outside low testosterone.
So what are the causes of low sexual desire in men generally, and married men in particular?
Incompatible desire is one of the causes of low sexual desire in men. When one partner is yearning for more physical closeness and touch, and the other spouse is too engrossed, too stressed, or too angry, it is a big problem.
Therefore for couples with an unequal sexual desire, particularly the low-desire spouse, experts’ advice is to JUST DO IT!!!. This may sound challenging. But the quickest way to alter feelings is to take action and make things happen. And in response to the action, miraculously the other spouse becomes happy, feels much more wanted, and is more committed to the relationship. Both people then get what they want.
Human desire doesn’t just happen by itself. So rather than sulk about how uninterested you are, make an effort to draw close to your spouse. You can start with a close hug or hold her hand, sit her on your lap, and proceed from there.
It’s likely you’ve heard or read about testosterone therapy as a treatment for low sexual desire in both men and women. The theory behind the treatment is that your low desire may be caused in part by a deficiency of testosterone.
But testosterone levels alone cannot determine the diagnosis of a clinical sexual desire disorder in men or women. This is because sex doesn’t occur in a vacuum. It is hinged on powerful psychological, relationship, and biological factors. So while testosterone and sexual desire are linked, there are several other factors involved as well.
Men and women react in dissimilar ways to several life experiences. This is more obvious in the issue of sexual desire. The fact is that most men experience sexual desire in the form of sexual thoughts and fantasies. This sexual mental image experience happens many times a day but reduces gradually over a man’s lifetime.
In women the pattern and appearance of sexual desire are different. For instance, female sexual desire also emerges first during adolescence. However, there is much more variety and little certainty in women’s reactions compared to men’s. For example, some women don’t even feel any sexual desire and wonder what all the hassle is about. Even for women who feel sexual desire, it doesn’t look as strong or persistent as in men.
Moreso, levels of serum testosterone in women decrease steadily during the life cycle, with a 50% drop between ages 25 and 50. Menopause also affects women’s desire for sex. This is principally due to a substantial reduction in estrogen hormones, including the normal and painful symptoms that come with those changes.
So even though a man’s sexual desire is unlike a woman’s, how sexual contact is initiated plays a big role in a woman’s response to a man’s advances and vice versa.
Infidelity is never good in a relationship. Whether it comes from the man or woman, it can shut off sexual desire. Finding out about your spouse’s extramarital affair can shake the marriage if left to fester. Betrayal can start from simple romantic phone texts or stolen dates to stolen kisses, and then finally ‘sex’. For most men, extramarital sex does not mean anything but means a lot to women.
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